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I am sending this in memory of Mistess Monica, and also as a response to your question, "Am I Really An Asshole?"
I was deeply saddened to learn that Mistress Monica had passed on, and at the same time relieved that She was no longer in pain. My first visit to this wonderful site was when I first decided to give myself to my Master. Before the collaring cerimony took place, He had me come to this site every day to learn what would be expected of me, in addition to His training. I have felt since then, that You and Mistress Monica were a part of my training and helped me to get to where I am today. I thank You for that from the bottom of my heart.
I was collared to my Master for four months, until He was lost to me ,and the world, in a terrible accident. I was able to spend the last few minutes of His life with Him at the hospital. It was there that He gave me a final order. While holding my hand in His, He told me that He wanted to give me to His best friend because He knew that We would help each other through his loss. He also knew my new Master would treat me as He always had. He was right. I kissed Him softly one last time, held His cock in my hand as He liked me to do and said goodby. Then He smiled, sighed, died and left this world for the next.
I have been collared to my new Master since the day after Master Steve's funeral, almost a year and a half ago. I have no doubt in my mind that wherever He is, He is pleased that I have done as He wished. So ... as for being an asshole, Dungeon Master, no You are not. You have simply gone on with Your life as Mistress Monica wanted You to do. I believe She is happy knowing that you had someone like Celeste to be in Your life. I wish You both the best life has to offer.
The following piece is what I wrote after Master Steve's death. I read it at His funeral. I can only hope that You and Yours find comfort in my words.
Yet for reasons we do not understand, as we grow older, most of us disconnect from these abilities and lose sight of the possibilities and our Angles. It is not that they are gone from us. We have simply forgotten how to hear and see them.
We have many choices in our lifetime, we sometimes make mistakes and end up hurting ourselves and others. During these times of pain and heartache, our Angels are always beside us, waiting and wanting to help us as they are meant to do. But instead of asking for help and guidance, we struggle with our problems and are never truly healed.
Another belief I have is:
We see and hear our Angels again at the end of our life as we leave this world and our past. The more we let go of this world, the clearer our Angels and their sweet songs become to us. I believe we regain these abilities so that we do not fear leaving this world and crossing over into the next. Our abilities may return at the moment of passing or perhaps sooner. No one can be certain when it will happen, but I find peace in the knowledge that is does.
At time like these, when someone has left this world for the next, when we feel pain and sorrow and loss, this is when we need our Angels the most. Did you know that you can find your Angels if you want to? You can. Weather you believe in God, Ala, Buda, Mother Earth or no deity at all, Your Angels can be found. How you find them is very simple.
This purity will be different for everyone. It may be a pure white glow, a deep blue sky, an emerald meadow near a silver stream. What ever it is, you will know it when you see it.
When you find the purity, you have found your Angels ... for Angels are purity. You may see them, you may not, but trust in your heart.
They are there.
In your mind, tell your Angels of your pain, your sorrow, whatever is bothering you. Your Angels will take hold of you, banish your pain, and will help you to ease the burden on your heart.
I tell you these things as a gift from my heart to yours. I hope that it helps to ease your sorrow and grief. Today, at a Beloved Master's passing, or at any other time in your life when you need healing.
Don't wait until it is your time to pass from this world to find the peace you knew as a child.
Find your Angels and let them help you to find peace in your life now when you, and those around you, need love the most.
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