After four months of investigation and several meetings in which I was told not to worry, the police arrived at my door and took me off to jail. I was booked as a child pornographer. I was taken to the station for an hour of being fingerprinted, photographed and examined. Afterwards I posted bail and was released. Returning to the Office I found that my servers were still in tact and operating. Andy (Daddy to a lot of you who have read my stories) was sitting behind the desk. He asked how I felt. I told him that I felt like shit. As I remember ... my exact comment was:
The truth is that I was scared.
Andy and I have operated the business for about five years without a single major problem and now the local cops bust me. My first reaction was to shut down the servers, say good-by to my friends on the Internet and try to put what was left of my life together.
I went to my attorney's office and he told me of the seriousness of my offence. That it would be likely be damaging to my reputation. People don't take well to a child pornographers. What made matters worse was the fact that he didn't know much about "Child-Porn" law. This meant I had to spend a lot of money educating him or go out and find another attorney.
I felt even worse than I did before my visit. I was in a deep pile of shit and my attorney didn't know what to do. In confusion I went down town to my store and looked in the window wondering if my business would be taken from me ... would I have to register as a sex-offender ... would I be unable to run a store in which children were my customers ... was I this the end? My manager, Bill, saw me standing in the street and came out. He is a good-looking young man, about twenty-four, blond and gay. I don't mean ... "closet gay". I mean that he is an outspoken member of the Gay Liberation and Gey Rights. A "prancing fag" might be an appropriate, although crude, way to describe him.
Many years ago I remember that some members of the city government expressed concern about a homosexual running a Toy Store and being an inappropriate influence on the children. They said it in private and I, basically, told them to "fuck off". He was a good employee and his personal life was none of their business.
Bill gave me a big hug and kissed me on the cheek. "It will be just fine", he said.
"Sure", I answered, not realizing that several persons were watching us. Maybe they were thinking that I was gay? I'm not ... but his hug made me feel a lot better and his words were encouraging.
"I know you're not into children ... so you have nothing to worry about."
I gave Bill a nice pat on the ass as we walked into the store. There was no one inside and it was a nice day and kids were out of school. I didn't want to meet anyone so I went home. I looked in the fridge and it was empty. I started out but I was afraid to go to the store and maybe be questioned about the headline, so I spent the evening watching TV.
I really missed Monica, Celeste was away in college and Baby-Slave was at her parents. Needless to say ... it was a shitty night without much sleep and a lot of thought about alienation.
Andy and I had been very careful to operate the porn site in privacy, without flaunting our operation. We tried to hide the fact that we ran an Adult Internet Site by not running around with signs on the building or advertisements in the Porn Magazines. After all ... this wasn't the kind of business one talked about in public.
I didn't feel much better the morning after my arrest. I went to the office, assembled a list of attorneys, sent out some letters regarding my problems and started my search for an expert. I called a friend who owned an adult book store and he referred me to the Free Speech Coalition . They told me about a lawyer Los Angeles that specialized in Adult Entertainment Law and Free Speech. I sent him the summary also and decided to go to lunch. I called Bill and asked him to join me. I thought the he, better than anyone, knew how I felt.
At lunch Bill reminded me of the trouble we encountered when I first hired a "Fag" to run the Toy Shop. We were afraid that some people might even picket the store.
"Don't you remember standing by me when the town turned against you", Bill asked. "If it weren't for you I don't know where I would be." I saw a small tear form in the corner of Bill's eye as he wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt. "I wish I could replace Monica for you", he said, holding my hand under the table.
I felt funny, holding hands with Bill under the tablecloth. What the fuck was wrong with holding hands. I let go, placed my hand on the table. "Bill", I said, " ... Please ... hold my hand."
Slowly Bill brought his arm up. He reached across the table and took my hand in his. For several minutes we sat in silence before I looked around the restaurant to see if anyone was watching. A child-pornographer and a fag, I thought, " ... what a combination.
Just then a couple of tables emptied and we both thought they were leaving because of us. This shattered my usual confidence. I looked at Bill just as one of the ladies in the departing group walked over to us.
"Well, Dungeonmaster", she said softly. "Maybe it's time you came out of the closet ... too!" Without another word she winked, slipped her hand low and squeezed her cunt.
I looked at Bill and we both laughed as the young lady turned and left.
"Well, Dungeonmaster", Bill said. "Maybe she's right!" Bill smiled across the table as if he had found a conquest, if that's what you call it? I sat in bewilderment.
"Come Out of the Closet", I thought.
"Yes ... Bill ... I think you're right."
What the fuck was I thinking. I liked my hobby. Why should I give up something just because it may be unpopular ... or should I say ... publicly unpopular.
I know what I am. And ... I am not a child pornographer. My Internet Sites are legal.
I got up from the table, paid the check, took Bill by the arm and walked out to the car. On the way back to the office I realized that the sun was shining, the sky was blue, I had a nice young girlfriend (thirty-three), a successful business and some good friends. They, whomever they were, could not take my business, my life or my integrity. I had to fight! I had fought before ... and WON.
"FUCK YOU", I yelled at no one as I pulled in front of my office. "FUCK!"
Bill smiled as we got out and went inside. "So", Bill said, " ... what's the next step?"
Just as I was about to answer I saw my computer blinking:
I clicked on my mail server and several emails popped up. One was from an attorney saying that he was very interested in my case and his specialty was Adult Entertainment and Internet Law.
I took Bill's hand and gave him a big kiss. "I'm coming out of the closet".
I sat down and typed a response to the attorney, clicked "send", smiled and walked out of the office.
"Monica", I said, closing the door.
" Monica ... I wish you were here."
"I haven't felt this good since our last fuck."