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I just want to start by thanking all of you for the nice email and supportive comments. It has been a hard two weeks but your support is certainly appreciated.
I wrote to a nice girl that was raped at eleven and has a passion to be dominated by a man. While this seems strange, since my father fuck me at an early age and I hate men, I can understand her feelings since she wants to go back to, and not escape, her childhood. I also wrote with a lady that wants to fuck Monica, as I do, and wanted me to set up a meeting with the three of us. I had to tell her that I don't play those games, Monica is very happy with Dungeonmaster and I am trying to do a good job at blowout.
Talking about work ... WOW! How about a job where you spend your time talking about fucking all day ... edit stories about sex depravation and domination ... write about sexual experiences ... answer invitations for sexual affairs ... where all your fantasies and more are available. WOW!
The only difficult part of being in California is that my shrink is in Chicago and I miss her very much. After eight years on her couch ... I have a hard time with my emotions and talking to her on the phone is just not the same. While Monica and Dungeonmaster are helpful ... they are not doctors ... and their advice comes from their genitals and not their mind.
I really had a hard time when Linda and I corresponded about her being raped at eleven. It brought back memories of my early childhood so I called my shrink and she was out. I went into the Blowout Chat and looked for Linda but she wasn't there ... so ... I decided the best thing to do was to write about my thoughts and get them out of my head since that is what my shrink had told me if I couldn't contact her in an emergency.
I am four at this time, living in Chicago with my parents. I am home alone and Mom is out of town visiting grandma. I have on my bright blue woolen "Teddy" shirt and am sitting in my father's favorite chair watching television. I don't think of anything as I hear the door open. Dad stumbles into the house and I yell "hello Daddy", in a nice voice.
"What the fuck are you doing in my chair", he yells and he staggers down the hall into the living room. "Get out of my fucking chair ... you little bitch", he screams as he grabs me by my red hair and pulls me from the soft cushions. "Get me a fucking beer", he says as he slumps into the large recliner and leans back. I slink into the kitchen and get a bottle from the icebox and bring it to him. "Open the fucking thing, he says, reaching for me but I am out of his way. I twist on the top but my hands aren't strong enough and the cap cuts my palm.
"I can't ... Daddy. It's on too tight."
"... too tight ... fuck you", he yells, grabbing the bottle and flipping the top off ... easily. "You're the one that's tight ... you little bitch", he whispers as he pulls me onto his lap so that my legs are spread over his knees. I am facing Daddy as he lets out a beer breath in my face and spreads his knees, which in turn, spread my legs. I don't have anything on under my shirt and my legs stretch as he breathes onto my face. I turn my head and he yells as me ... "Look at me you little bitch." I turn my face towards his as he takes a long slug from the bottle, finishing what was left and pushing the neck of the bottle between my legs. I try to get up but he holds me with his other hand and turns the cold neck of the bottle against the opening of my virginity. I stop pulling and he tires of playing and throws the empty onto the rug in front of the TV. "Get me another fucking beer ... you cunt", he says, pushing me from his lap as I fall back onto throw rug with my nightshirt above my waste. I crawl toward the kitchen as Daddy watches, chuckling loudly. I get up and do as Daddy asks, bringing him another cold one. I stand out of his reach and hand him the beer. "Get your cunt over here", he yells as I pull back after he takes the beer. "sit on my lap again ... you bitch ... Daddy wants to play with you."
"Please ... no ... Daddy", I plead as I stand motionless, looking at my feet which are firmly placed in front of his chair."
"Barb ... you'd better obey your father or you'll find out what play is really like." I can't move as tears run down my cheeks as I look at the smiling teddy bear on the front of my blue nightgown. "You bitch Barb ... get over here", Daddy yells, grabbing my arm and pulling me onto his lap. "Let me clean out your cunt", he says laughing as he shakes the bottle and puts it between my legs. He removed his thumb from the top and the cold beer shoots into my virginity and up the front of me, drenching my nightie. "Stand up ... you bitch", he yells as he pulls me so that I am standing on his thighs with my virginity in front of his face. Daddy's head moves forward as he sucks the wool, raises the material and licks the beer from between my thighs. His rough tongue licks the surface of my virginity feeling much like that of my cat. Daddy's hands take the nightie and pull it over my head, taking me in his arms and stumbles to the couch and throws me onto rough material. He lowers his pants as I try to crawl backwards but he is on me in a second driving his pee-pee into my virginity. I look away, fanaticizing about the toad and the princess as Daddy pounds himself against my soft body.
"Please ... stop", I whimper as the tears run down my cheeks and my stomach feels as if I am going to split up the middle. "please ... no!"
"Shut up ... bitch", Daddy yells as he pumps into me until I feel a gush of hot fluid fill my insides. He starts to shrink and he is now very slippers as his weight presses against my chest and the smell of stale beer covers us like a cloud. I imagine the frog as I close my eyes.
After moments or hours, I can't remember, my Daddy stops snoring, rises and pulls me to my feet. "So ... Barb ... you like my chair ... Ah? he says as he stumbles from the room for another beer. Returning with a bottle and some rope, he grabs my arm and pulls me to his chair. He ties one length of the rope around my right wrist and pushes me, head first, onto the cushions as he pulls the rope around the back of the chair and ties the other end to my left wrist. I lay on the cushion, holding the back as I push my head into section where the back meets the seat. I feel the cold bottle slip into my wet vital area which, earlier, Daddy had opened with his cock lubricated with his cum. Daddy's knees spread my legs as I bury my head in the crack, smelling the pungent sweat from years of Daddy's as ass which spend most of the time on the recliner. As the bottle pushes further into my privates I feel Daddy's pee-pee ram at the opening of my butt. I feel dirty as his stiff thing forces it's way into the opening. I screamed into the chair, which muffled my cries.
I can't remember how long I was fucked into that chair, smelling Daddy's stinking sweat in the cushions and feeling the cold bottle and his hard cock as I begged him to stop. Finally he finished and stumbled off to bed, leaving me lying motionless on his chair. I finally got my arms over the back, untied the ropes and sat in his chair.
I close my eyes, dreaming of the day that I would get even. I would tie him to a cross and cut off his big cock. I would strap his prick around my waist and find his ass hole. I guide the cock toward the opening and fuck him until he yells for mercy. I laugh as he hangs there ... pleading ... and I sit in the corner and jack-off his hard cock as he watches. I stroke his dead prick until the sperm shoots into the air and I catch the fluid in my mouth. I walk to him, spitting the pungent cum in his face. He begs for me to end the torture and I laugh, ram his cock into his ass and leave the room.
His screams are cut off as I slam the door and go up the stairs to my bedroom. I lay on the bed and call my imaginary friend, who lies down with me on the soft pillows. I hold her to me as she softly licks my breasts and gently fingers the opening to my hairless pussy. We kiss softly, falling asleep in each other's arms.
Tears are now running over my cheeks as I sit at my computer surfing through the Chat Rooms looking for Linda. I am so lonely and the office is so inviting. My fingers are in my wet cunt and as the sites load I lick the rich cum and swirl it around in my mouth. I am very wet. I want to make love to Linda ... I want to hold Monica ... I want to talk with Dungeonmaster ... but ... I am here alone.
All I can do is sit at my computer and hope that someone out there hears me.
Bye for now ...
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